chewing the fat

Okay, I’ll admit it. When you lose a bit of weight – or especially a lot of weight – you get judgemental. You go for your morning walk and are mentally derisive of the tubs and tummies you see in your neighbourhood. I am as guilty and, suddenly, as righteous as anybody.

There have been times over the years when I have crashed my bathroom scales at more than 100 kilos. That’s 215 pounds on the old scales. Now I walk most days in the Botanic Garden and I hover around 82 kilos. That’s not bad for a man in his sixties. To be honest I don’t feel that much better but my doctor tells me I am. At least it’s brought my blood pressure down – except when I am shouting at someone down the microphone on 3AW. And my suits sit better on the old frame. Cholesterol down to 3.8 and  triglycerides (whatever they are) are down from 1.1 to 0.9.

Obesity is now a major problem in this country. Child obesity. Adult obesity. It was never thus. When I was a kid we played outside and ran around from dawn until dusk. My parents didn’t have enough money to let me buy my lunch from a fast food tuck shop. Mum made me a sandwich and packed an apple or a banana in my schoolbag.  The banana made the bag stink but that’s another issue. We were never given money for “play lunch” which is why the current debate about “junk food” in tuck shops is fairly academic to me. If you don’t want your kids to eat junk food then don’t give them the money to buy it. Pack them a lunch at home.

Some years ago I experimented on myself and then wrote a book called The Derryn Hinch Diet Book. It sold 50,000 copies as diet books do Even beat Naomi Wolf’s The Beauty Myth on the bestseller list. Made me 80,000 dollars. I lost 20 kilos. That’s $2000 a kilo. Beats the blip out of Jenny Craig.

It was around the time of the “Fit For Life” Diet. I called mine the “pissed for life” diet. Fruit for breakfast. Anything for lunch and only soup and a bread roll and a glass of white wine for dinner. Worked a treat. In a year – aiming at losing half a kilo a week – my TV producer Dermot O’Brien and I lost nearly forty kilos between us. And didn’t go hungry. More importantly -- didn’t ever feel hungry.

I mention it today for several reasons. When “Mrs Doubtfire” was named as Victorian Police Commissioner I did make the point that Christine Nixon could not possibly pass the physical test which is demanded of other officers.  I still believe that is true. And I suspect that is why she has never agreed to be on my radio programme.

At the same time, the world’s biggest – and most successful – retailer has said that it doesn’t want to employ fat people. Is there a discrimination case in there?

America’s Wal-Mart plans to make physical exercise a part of every worker’s day.  They want chubby checkout chicks to get involved in physical chores like stacking shelves and pushing trolleys.

Wal-Mart claims that slimmer and fitter staff would tackle obesity and promote good health. That it would reduce absenteeism, improve efficiency, cut costs on healthcare payouts and flush out lazy workers.

Apparently, health issues cost Wal-Mart one billion dollars a year. And I believe they are right.

In the end, you know, it is your own call. Women start wearing their blouses outside their pants rather than tucking them in to cover up additional weight. Men do the same.   People complain that the dry cleaner has “shrunk my pants”. We all know the truth. Just blame somebody else.

But obesity is not something to be taken lightly. It is a chronic problem. You can talk about policing tuckshops at schools but that aint gunna change things. Kids do not exercise as much any more.  Laptops and computer games have changed their world. And that is sad.

After school in my day, we would run and run until we were exhausted. Street cricket. Stubbed big toes. Broken down bikes. We would play outdoors until called inside for dinner. And then play outside again until dusk and the maternal demand for a bath and then bed. I didn’t know any fat kids. We, daily, ran ourselves into the ground. It’s what kids did.

Now, it is sad that youngsters are besotted with laptops and opaque screens and computer games.

But the issue of obesity is not exactly new. I remember decades ago being invited to the opening of Disney Land’s New Disney World in Florida. I had never seen so many fat American female bums in Bermuda shorts riding up the cracks of their bums. And that was thirty years ago. But when you see the size of sandwiches and the piles of French fries in America that shouldn’t surprise you.

The issue here is not kids. It is parents.  Set an example. Feed your children healthier meals. Don’t give them money to buy junk at the tuck shop. Make them a sandwich or a salad at home. Give them cold carrots or celery or radishes. Make them go outside and play. Ride a bike. Kick a football. I’ve gone back to a healthy old habit. There’s a bowl of radishes in iced water in my fridge. Whenever I feel like a snack then that is it.

Look at a fat kid and a slothful parent, I believe, is at fault. Kids mirror us. If you are a couch potato what chance does you child have?  You create them in your image and that is sloppy.  Shoo them outside. Get them running and jumping and skipping. And they will live longer than you will. Life is too short for anything less.

They are yours and they are precious. Lead by example. Sounds like sense to me.

November 20, 2005

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2005