In fact when the Herald Sun ran its daily poll on the topic my viewpoint was in the minority by 25% to 75%.

And the issue?

Whether or not the Victorian State government should ban alcoholic milk.

The drink being produced by a Shepparton company under the clever name of Moo Joose.

Fearless Premier Steve Bracks has vowed to change the law and ban the drink and save the lives of thousands of innocent but binge-drinking Victorian teenagers.

Earlier in the week when I first saw the Herald Sun’s shock horror front page story about spiked milk I said on radio:

The do-gooders were outraged. It was a nightmare. Put every Victorian child at risk. Talk about Armageddon!

What a raft of crap. What a load of nonsense.

It is going to be sold only on licenced premises. Only in bottle shops and pubs and nightclubs.

And it is no different from a person going into a bar now and ordering a brandy and milk or a whisky and milk (my father’s favourite tipple).

Moo Joose at 5.3% will have half the alcoholic content of a glass of white wine.

And what makes it any worse than wine coolers – which were a fad for a while – or the lemon Ruski sort of drink?

Kahlua and milk has been available mixed – polluted! -- for yonks but Premier Bracks apparently isn’t going to ban that.

And the thundering Herald Sun is running full-page ads for Bottlemart that advertises Kahlua and Milk four packs for just over ten bucks. Cheaper than soft drink. And the bottles are only 200 ml.

And if the Bracks Government is going to ban Moo Joose then they had better get a team of inspectors out there pronto. Because of what radio listeners told me yesterday.

Target is selling alcoholic chocolates shaped like miniature bottles of booze and the Anton Berg brand has between 2.5% and 5% alcohol. There’s a Cointreau laced chocolate that’s 3.9% alcohol – that’s higher than the Cascade light beer I have at lunchtime.

And Mr Premier how about the Asian food stores around town? They are serving – in the grocery section – Chinese cooking wine that is 16% alcohol.

And how about little Italian stores selling little boomba treats called Bambi Boomba. They are shaped like baby bottles. They even have an inviting baby bottle teat. They are only 30mls in size and they are 16 and a half per cent alcohol.

Alcoholic desserts are sold in umpteen restaurants all over town and small bottles of lemon Ruski and grapefruit Ruski are everywhere.

The Drug Foundation told me Mr. Premier that the most popular drink for underage teenage girls is Lemon Ruski. It was advertised in the Herald Sun this week pushing four 300 ml bottles for 10.99.

So why knee-jerk over Moo Joose?

I actually applaud your concern for underage drinkers. And you and I probably both did it. But instead of banning a legal product to be sold only on licenced premises come up with something tangible like cracking down and closing down bottleshops that illegally sell booze to kids. And crack down on adults who buy alcohol for underage kids.

And while you are at it. Within hours you vowed to change the law and ban a legal drink. I wish your concern for youngsters would have extended to acting as fast to change the law – changing the sentencing laws on child molesters that have allowed scum like serial paedophile Keith Richard Draper make a mockery of the current law and avoid the ten years in jail he deserves.

That’s the real world Mr Premier. That’s the real world if you want to protect children.

Thursday, September 19th 2002

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2002