MORE SPILT MILK

Remember the front-page headlines and the Victorian Premier’s indignation last year when a Goulburn Valley farmer produced an alcohol and milk drink and called it Moo Joose?

Fearless Premier Steve Bracks vowed to change the law and ban the drink and save the lives of thousands of innocent, but binge-drinking, Victorian teenagers.

It’s in the news again because the farmer, Travis Morgan, appealed against Liquor Licensing Victoria refusing his application for a licence.

And today the decision came down. Travis Morgan lost his case. But its good news and bad news. He lost his appeal to get a Melbourne Liquor Licence. But he has won a South Australian licence to produce his product. And he’ll be able to sell it in Victoria. So a Victorian business crosses the border.

It is a joke. It makes a mockery of commercial law (a bit like the Easter Sunday trading fiasco in Victoria).

I remember commenting last September when the do-gooders were outraged. When they were claiming Moo Joose would put every Victorian child at risk.

I pointed out back then:

It was going to be sold only on licensed premises. Only in bottle shops and pubs and nightclubs. Only to adults over 18 years of age.

And it is no different from a person going into a bar now and ordering a brandy and milk or a whisky and milk (my father’s favourite tipple).

Moo Joose at 5.3% has half the alcoholic content of a glass of white wine. It has 58% less alcohol than the Booker’s bourbon I sometimes drink.

And what makes it any worse than wine coolers –which were a fad for a while – or the Lemon Ruski sort of drink?

Kahlua and milk has been available for yonks but Premier Bracks apparently isn’t going to ban that.

And the Herald Sun which thundered against Moo Joose still runs full-page ads for Bottlemart that advertise Kahlua and Milk four packs for just over ten bucks. Cheaper than soft drink. Cheaper than water. And the bottles are only 200 ml.

I’m told Target sells alcoholic chocolates shaped like miniature bottles of booze and the Anton Berg brand has between 2.5% and 5% alcohol. There’s a Cointreau- laced chocolate that’s 3.9% alcohol – that’s higher than the Cascade light beer that I drink.

And, as I have said before, Mr Premier how about the Asian food stores around town? They are serving – in the grocery section – Chinese cooking wine that is 16% alcohol.

And little Italian stores selling little boomba treats called Bambi Boomba. They are shaped like baby bottles. They even have an inviting baby bottle teat. They are only 30mls in size and they are 16 and a half per cent alcohol.

The Drug Foundation told me that the most popular drink for underage teenage girls is Lemon Ruski. It is advertised in the Herald Sun pushing four 300 ml bottles for 10.99.

So why, for shallow political grandstanding, put the moocher on Moo Joose.

Thursday, April 17, 2003

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2002