THE TROUBLE WITH HARRY

Good to be back. Great to be back. I must admit that I feel like I have tried out as a flight attendant for Virgin Blue. In the past few days I have attended a child abuse conference in Queensland and a charity fundraiser in South Australia. Among other things – including a family re-union.

And that has meant flying Melbourne- Brisbane. Brisbane-Melbourne. Melbourne-Adelaide. Adelaide-Melbourne. Melbourne-Brisbane. Brisbane-Christchurch. Christchurch- Brisbane. Brisbane-Melbourne.

Another person doing a lot of flying is a member of the Royal family who is also flying into a controversy. Prince Harry – the James Hewitt look-alike – arrives in Australia today for a four-month private visit.

And that’s fair enough. He’ll be playing polo, watching England in the Rugby Union World Cup and reportedly spending time with the Packer Family on their country estate.

What is not fair enough is that the Australian taxpayers will be forking out at least $600,000 for security for the 19-year-old who is third in line for the throne.

It is not fair enough because this is an unofficial visit. A princely holiday at a princely sum.

It could be argued that, as the grandson of "our” Queen, Harry is entitled to official protection even on an unofficial visit.

But Federal Tourism Minister Joe Hockey is drawing an incredibly long bow when he says, with a straight face, Prince Harry’s visit is an ideal opportunity to promote Australia as a tourist destination overseas.

Yeah, right. Young silver spoon heads Down Under for a few months on the piss. That will attract thousands of tourists.

Opposition spokesman Joel Fitzgibbon says – and I agree – that Prince Harry’s visit will not attract one additional visitor to Australia.

And he is also right when he says that if tourism is being used as an excuse for the $600,000 outlay it would be better spent on a specific marketing campaign. Like, put another prince on the barbie!

And while I am talking about things Royal…. How about the increasingly strong rumour that the Queen has offered John Howard a knighthood.

It would be political suicide to accept one yet but in retirement I am sure the mini-Menzies and his wife Hyacinth Bucket would love the crowning glory.

Monday, September 22, 2003

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2002