THANKS A MILLION

And now I know it. All those nights I spent at home playing couch potato and watching quiz shows like Sale of the Century and Who wants to be a Millionaire. All those nights I shouted at dumb, bozo, contestants who didn’t know an obvious answer. Or frittered their lifelines. Now I know: it aint that easy when you are in the hot seat.

Actually I knew before. I appeared on Celebrity Sale of the Century ten years ago and won it. My then-wife, and precious friend, Jacki Weaver, came second.

Somebody said they watched her disappointed reaction that night and said “what a great actor she is”. I said “She wasn’t acting.”

But then last night we teamed up for charity and tried to win a million dollars for two deserving charities. I was batting for CPEC – the Cerebral Palsy Education Centre in Melbourne and Jacki was batting for the Actors’ Benevolent Fund.

If you were one of the probably two million people around the country who saw it – the last Millionaire for 2004 – then you know we didn’t.

Didn’t make total dickheads out of ourselves but went home with $32,000. And, as expected, Eddie McGuire, was a polished and reassuring and generous host.

It is an awesome, adrenalin-pumping experience. And the minute you lose you know in your heart the logic that should have steered you to the correct answer. But it truly is the hot seat. And I really admire Molly Meldrum—in an earlier “celebrity challenge” -- who won half a million dollars for kids. And I understand how and why he faltered on the million-dollar question when (sitting at home) I knew that my mate did really know the answer.

Your brain tries to go into overdrive. It takes you down illogical paths and plants dangerous doubts in your thought process. And you think that your questions are harder than everybody else’s.

But I loved it. Several million Australians now know that I am going to build a $640,000 permanent centre for kids with cerebral palsy. And one of the first people to benefit from the CPEC project was in last night’s audience. Three of them have now passed VCE.

Last night on Nine was a great way to start wrapping up 2004. We didn’t win big. But, hell, we did not lose. Thanks, Jac.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2004