ARROGANCE AN ART FORM

Federal, or should I say feral, Health Minister, Tony Abbott, apparently won the crown for being the most arrogant man in Australia this week after criticising a terminally ill asbestos victim, turning up half an hour late for a televised debate at the National Press Club and then accusing his shadow minister, Nicola Roxon of talking ‘bullshit’.

But in the throes of a federal election and in the race for the ‘arrogance’ title methinks they have overlooked one man. The AFL’s million-dollar man, Andrew Demetriou.

This man has turned arrogance into an art form. He is trying to bully North Melbourne into virtually committing hara- kiri, a Japanese ritualistic suicide.

He told the Kangaroos board yesterday: You’ve got 30 days to do as I say or get stuffed. His quote ‘the AFL is going to the Gold Coast and whether it’s with the Kangaroos or anyone else we will be there. We will have no hesitation whatsoever in issuing a 17th licence’.

Shouldn’t surprise anybody. Back in the 1980s, despite all the raw emotion and the undying backing of people like Bob Hawke South Melbourne disappeared and became the Sydney Swans. All they kept were the colours.

Fitzroy was subsumed into the Brisbane Bears, now the Brisbane Lions and the only thing that didn’t get eaten was the theme song.

Demetriou says he’ll have no hesitation in issuing a 17th licence. Where are the other clubs in all this?  Do they want the pie to be carved into yet another slice?  Without the clubs and 100 years of history there is no AFL. You’d think it was the other way around.

As I understand it the people of Melbourne originally owned Waverly. Then the clubs did in equal shares. Then the AFL took it over and closed it down.

Sure the Shinboners are in a financial mess. The Bob Ansett-inspired move to turn the club into a company with shareholders –effectively disenfranchised the fans.

They’ve offered a compromise to play six to eight games on the Gold Coast but keep their Melbourne base at Ardern Street. With other away games their 20,000 fans would get to see about a third of the games each year.

That’s not good enough for the AFL heavies. It’s our way or the highway. Actually the highway would lead to Queensland so it’s really our way or extinction.

Back in the early 1980s the then Melbourne President Billy Snedden told me in his cups that there was a secret plan to reduce the number of Melbourne teams to eight. With six interstate teams now there are only ten green bottles left hanging on the wall. One is about to fall. And not accidently.

Which leaves the question: How come the highly-paid AFL tail wags the footy dog?

And a footnote. Apparently when he played for North Melbourne Andrew Demetriou used to hide a comb in his socks to re-do his hair during the quarter time breaks.

Times change. As the AFL’s chief bully boy he doesn’t seem to give a stuff about appearances.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2007