WHAT’S A POST TURTLE?

Another week down. Three more Saturdays to go before you go to the polls to either re-elect the Howard Government or put Kevin Rudd into The Lodge.

Behind in the polls John is throwing everything at it – including the kitchen sink.  There he was in the Herald Sun on Saturday at the kitchen sink in Kirribilli House where he says he makes his own breakfast and eats alone. He has cereal and toast and honey and a cup of tea. Hold the front page!  The tea surprises me because I counted five coffee plungers in the kitchen and an elaborate espresso and cappuccino machine.

Inside were rare pics of the Howards at home with a ‘casual’ Janette, alias Hyacinth Bucket, wearing a blue twin set.

According to the PM he splits his time 60-40 between Kirribilli and The Lodge in Canberra. More like an expensive 90-10.  Also at the weekend they added grandson Angus Benjamin Howard McDonald to the campaign. Melanie Howard says her baby is already taking after his grandfather. ‘He loves being with people and he speaks a lot’. Yeah, sure. Angus is ten weeks old.

Peter Garrett managed to get his Kyoto foot out of his mouth before inserting both feet at Melbourne Airport in a reckless comment to 2UE’s Steve Price. Price asked him about the Copy Cat policy campaign. Garrett’s reply made headlines: ‘Once we get in, we’ll just change it all’.

The ABC’s chief head kicker, Kerry O’Brien found himself in the headlines for the wrong reasons when bouncers frog-marched him out of The Long Room bar in Melbourne. The ABC said the 7.30 Report host was not drunk.

With the Melbourne Cup tomorrow here are a couple of political omen bets. For Kevin Rudd a horse named Maybe Better. And for John Howard – perhaps looking ahead three weeks – Blue Monday.

And the latest election joke concerns a weathered old farmer working on the land when a city slicker comes by looking for directions. They start jawing and the visitor mentions he’s just seen the Kevin Rudd election caravan at a nearby town.

The old farmer says:  ‘Kevin Rudd is a post turtle”.  What’s a post turtle?

“Well, you see a turtle sitting on a fence post. YOU know he shouldn’t be there. HE knows he shouldn’t be there. HE doesn’t know how he got there.  He doesn’t know what to do now he IS there. And he’s just waiting for somebody to help him down again. That’s Kevin Rudd. A post turtle.’

Monday, November 5, 2007

©Copyright Derryn Hinch 2007