WHAT PISSES YOU OFF?

Yesterday on my 3AW program I talked to the author of a new positive book outlining all the things that we should be grateful for in this country.Which doesn’t sit well with the next topic: What Pisses Me Off. But, what the hell, it’s good to occasionally vent your spleen on those things that irritate you in your daily life. I’ve got a few in random order and off the top of my head:

The way the letter ‘d’ is rapidly replacing the letter ‘t’ in our language. ‘Getting ready’ becomes ‘gedding ready’. You hear it in radio and television commercials. The Channel Seven ads on 3AW talk about shows  being on at ‘8. thirdy’.

And speaking of radio ads – and yes I know you think there are too many of them – can anybody tell me which brand of golf balls that supposed American evangelist, the Reverend T. Driver, is actually selling? I can’t understand him.

And back to television. Why do SKY presenters sign off by saying ‘Until then I’m David Spiers’. ‘Until then I’m Kierin Gilbert’. Who are they going to be after that?

And that dubious TV commercial for Lemo –some, take-your-money, magic, hair restoring gimmick. They urge you to ‘grow hair at home’.  That’s like the sign Ears Pierced While You Wait.

The new Melbourne Lord Mayor may join your WPMO list. This week on radio we clashed over his loony plan to ban taxi pickups in the city streets at night. Force you to join lengthy queues at late night maxi-ranks.

Now he’s endorsing a plan to make Melbourne a New York style city that never sleeps. But he seems to contradict himself.

Robert Doyle is quoted today as saying don’t expect the glitz and glamour of Las Vegas.

‘I don’t mean by that just blazing lights and open all hours. It means there’s activity in the city 24 hours a day and that’s where I think we’ll end up’.

Some of the suggestions? Midnight  street soccer.  And slow zones where classical music is played.  (Whoopee!) All night public transport. (That’s a good idea).

But how about compulsory food service where alcohol is served? That would take us back thirty years. Would destroy bistro and café  civilized, cosmopolitan lifestyles. Ironically, Sydney is fighting to get rid of such draconian restrictions and uses us as a cosmopolitan example.

And speaking of food and what pisses you off. A friend bought some fresh apricots from Safeway. Thought they were tasteless and gave me one to try. Glad I wasn’t blindfolded. It tasted like coloured cotton wool.

At the price that would piss me off too.

© Copyright Derryn Hinch 2009