THE ROSE
309 Bay Street
Port Melbourne

I used to have a corny old foodie joke about that “acquired” taste for a Middle Eastern dish called Falafel.

Didn’t order it often because: “I feel awful after falafel.” And often did.

It was scented, it was heavy and it sometimes tasted like it had come out of the bum of a camel.

Not so at The Rose in Port Melbourne. They serve a Greek version of Falafel (believe it or not) with chickpeas, minted tzatziki and a toubbuli salad. And it is good. Four Falafel cocoons. Crispy on the outside. And tasty. Not greasy at all.

A Greek Falafel to me seems strange when I usually think of Lebanon when I think of this dish. But The Rose has been going through a bit of an identity crisis of their own as they try to re-establish it. It is now The Rose. Used to be The Rose and Crown.

In fact there is still a rose on the female’s toilet door and a crown on the male’s.

It is a good “eatin’ and drinkin’” spot. When I was there recently,

Mike “Up There Cazaly” Brady was indecently assaulting a huge flounder and TV producer David Phelps was holding court in one of the booths.

And that’s why it got me. I love leather booths in restaurants. I love banquettes. I love the ambience and the privacy. But The Rose also has what has to be one of the longest and best-stocked bars in Christendom.

I dined there at night and the atmosphere was busy and friendly and great. I don’t know what it would be like in the harsh light of day.

Leo Schofield, the Sydney foodie guru, once wrote that you can instantly judge the quality of a restaurant by the quality of its bread. On that basis The Rose should be in the Michelin Guide. Their bread is 24-carat.

Bread in the realm of where you hate to eat it because it is going to make you too full to eat anything else. And that sort of happened to us.

I want to go back for the salted cod blinis with salmon caviar and sour cream with some capsicum salad. And the chicken livers with caramelised onions. And a Hungry Hinch favourite – slowly braised, tender, veal shanks.

I did enjoy the pan-fried calamari on an interesting salad of marinated cabbage.

And they have an army of sugary Greek desserts.

The Rose and Crown has lost its Crown. But it hasn’t…. if you get what I mean.

April 3, 2004